Divorce Resolution Alternatives and Mediation.

Divorce is difficult and troubling to the families involved but much of the damage that is possible can be prevented, in part, by properly handling the conflict in the most effective manner. Divorce is a stressful and very damaging process that leaves invisible wounds to all involved that can’t easily detected.

How damaging is divorce? Well the extent of the effects can’t be fully explored in this article; however, we can suggest just how serious the matter can be. The effects of divorce are as serious as death on one extreme. Sound overly dramatic? Well consider this. People going through divorce are three times more likely to commit suicide. This makes divorce the leading cause of suicide in the U.S. above all other financial, psychological and physical matters. This is indicated in a recent study conducted by the National Institute for Healthcare Research in Rockville, MD.

It has been discussed that suicide is more a factor for the non-custodial parents because

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What are a client’s best interests?

Seems like an easy question on the surface.  When going through a divorce most of the clients that come before me basically want a fair financial settlement, a fair parenting plan with their children and to avoid being “screwed over” during the divorce process. These client needs are modest and I generally always can help produce an agreement that meets these requirements.

Some clients are experiencing such pain from the divorce that their needs for a fair agreement fall victim to the need for causing the other party pain by treating them unfairly during the divorce. In this case is it the individual’s best interest to succeed in taking advantage of the other party? It won’t ease the pain of the failure of the relationship. (more…)

What is the nature of conflict? When two sides have competing objectives over the same resources you have a conflict. Conflict is an inevitable part of life and can’t be avoided. Instead we must deal with conflict and produce wise resolutions that benefit both sides of the conflict.

Fighting is one alternative to a conflict and a popular one in Western Culture. When fighting is mentioned here visions of Clint Eastwood are conjured where after a few black eyes our opponent is conquered and we get our way. Instead, picture fighting as two opponents struggling to obtain the same objective using tactics that are verbal, behavioral, and if escalated, “Dirty Harry”™. Fighting results when <!–more–>we see no other alternative to getting what we want and compromising or losing is not an option. For example when the object of the conflict is a limited resource such as a single job promotion or the last bag of diapers on the store shelf when sick babies are at home and another mother reaches for the bag at the same time.

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